Paris Hilton’s life is anything but simple. The fashion icon/reality tv star/business tycoon recently welcomed her first baby, a boy named Phoenix, with her husband Carter Reum. She also has a podcast, This Is Paris, and an upcoming memoir, Paris The Memoir, which debuts March 14. In honor of her new era, Hilton graced the cover of the February 2023 issue of Glamour UK in a candid interview. She shares her past abortion story, her biggest fear, and her plans for more kids (!!).

For anyone who watched 2020 This Is Paris, you know a lot about her heartbreaking past abuse during her time at the Provo Canyon School in Utah. But what you probably didn’t know (because she’s never talked about it before), is that she had an abortion in her 20s.

“This was also something that I didn’t want to talk about because there was so much shame around that,” she told Glamour UK. “I was a kid and I was not ready for that.”

Not that anyone needs to justify their reason for an abortion, but knowing that you aren’t ready to be a mom is actually brave — and still such a hard choice. Now that choice is being taken away from so many women after the Supreme Court repealed Roe vs. Wade, which Hilton spoke up about as well. “I think it is important,” she said. “There’s just so much politics around it and all that, but it’s a woman’s body … Why should there be a law based on that? It’s your body, your choice and I really believe in that.”

“It’s mind-boggling to me that they’re making laws about what you do with your reproductive health, because if it were the other way around with the guys, it would not be this way at all,” she added, and same.

Hilton is also an activist, who has worked with Washington DC senators to pass laws advocating for abused kids. “I feel most empowered when I’m doing my advocacy work. Knowing that I can be the hero I always needed when I was a little girl,” she said.

And speaking of little girls, she hopes to have one of her own one day.

“Carter and I had already been talking about the future and then the world was shut down, so I was like, ‘What do you think about us making embryos?’” she told Glamour UK about what her and her husband did during the pandemic. “And he said, ‘Yeah, let’s do it.’ And we’ve done it seven times … I have all boys. I have 20 boys.”

She used one of those boy embryos to have her son Phoenix. Hilton explained the name choice in her upcoming memoir, per PEOPLE. “Phoenix has a few good pop culture reference points, but more importantly it’s the bird that flames out and then rises from the ashes to fly again,” she said. “I want my son to grow up knowing that disaster and triumph go around and come around throughout our lives. And that this should give us great hope for the future.”

Now, Hilton is desperate for a girl. In her interview with Glamour UK, she explained that she “went through the process again” last month of egg retrieval. “I’m waiting for the results to see if there’s any girls,” Hilton admitted.

She wants to use a surrogate again for a big reason: she’s scared of going through childbirth.

“I’m just so scared … But I want a family so bad, it’s just the physical part of doing it. I’m just so scared …” Hilton said. “Childbirth and death are the two things that scare me more than anything in the world.”

Read the full Glamour UK interview, filled with tons of vulnerable and heartbreaking moments, here.